Cerberus is in da Haus

Recovery from back surgery is a dog from Hell. But I'm repeating myself, no?

Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it.
~ J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Yeah true, BUT Harry didn’t just have big motherfucking, gottverdammt surgery where every major muscle in his back was sliced open so the good doc could get at the monsters having their own little Burning Man on my damn spine.

Did ya know? You use your back muscles every time you do ANY damned thing. Did I do ANY of the strengthening exercises listed here before the big day? And would it have mattered, given that they were all sliced up and shit? Dunno. My main workouts are the elliptical and walking – not a lot of back stuff in there. Once I’m past this horror show spine recovery, I’m back in the damn pool (a more rounded workout) and adding the shit noted in that Wikihow post.  If the Notorious RBG can be in shape and going strong at 85, I can do it at 60. Dammit.

Pain insists upon being attended to.
~ C.S. Lewis

Pain is temporary. – just not temporary enough.
I will increase my dosages but I AIN’T going back up to full prescribed amounts. Dammit.

Why not? They put me to sleep for too much of the damn day. A nap is OK. A five hour one is bullshit – it means that I can’t sleep at night. Dammit.

I tried weaning myself off the 1,001 painkillers. It was too damn soon. I’ve been outta MGH for a week and a half. Surgery was just two weeks ago. Doc Coumans said recovery takes six–eight weeks. I figure, by December fourth I’ll be back in super diva, full force form. *fingers crossed*

I’ll take it slower today. My goals will be smaller.  Jen said I’m not allowed outta the house today and I can’t work (graphic design – even keyboarding is molto stressful on the back!). I WILL take a short walk across the street to the seawall. Ocean – the scent of the salty, seaweedy water, the gentle, we-got-all-the-time-in-the-world waves, the ever shifting colors – baby dolls, that’s some serious balm.

One word
Frees us of all the weight and pain of life:
That word is love.
~ Sophocles

The pain of life in general, sure, mais fucking oui! The pain in my back? That takes Neurontin, Oxycodone, Valium, Ibuprofen. And, yeah, that love stuff too. Jen – she deserves way fucking more than some piddling, bullshit medal for all she’s doing for me every goddamned day.