Hell Revisited

Only pious people believe that hell is in a world beyond.
~ Ernst Wiechert, Tidings 

We are living through hell – one crafted by the most despicably tiny brained, compassion devoid, greedheaded amongst us. I’m NOT referring to the lockdown, the quarantines. I’m talking about the dismantling of all that was good about our society by 45 and his monstrously, unforgivably, vilely reprehensible and corrupt Republican Party, led by the smugly rapacious Moscow Mitch.  

No wonder my concentration is on par with that of a coked up squirrel. I don’t often sleep through the night and haven’t since the Marmalade Hate Monster and his heinous crew of human shaped vomit moved into the White House

You, me, all of us are going to be suffering from PR/FSD – Post Republi/Fascist Stress Disorder – after this is over, IF it’s ever over.

He inhabited a gray winter fog on a distant elk mountain where hunters are lost indefinitely and their own bones mark the boundaries.
~ Leslie Marmon Silko, Ceremony 

 
To survive this vida loca, I need to live in and cope with the hell of here and now – not yesterday or tomorrow but RIGHT NOW. How? There are days that feel barely survivable. On top of everything else, I’m up for more big scary-ass surgery (if I can’t hook up with the INTUITT-NF2 trials) but, ya know, been there/survived that. Ho hum and shit.

Without new experiences, something inside of us sleeps. The sleeper must awaken.
~ Frank Herbert

 I will set aside my fears and ride the waves. I’ll put one foot in front of the other with my arms held out for balance and support. I’ll begin reconnecting with friends on Zoom, start a new painting, order more escapist sci-fi novels, maybe watch some teevee but, until it’s safe, I’ll stick close to home.

When I can’t sleep, I’ll knit versus reading MORE about the horror show state of humanity.

The news is full of tales of fuckwadian, motherfucking, gun-toting dipshits, being insane, stupid, rude and assholian at their misshapen, ego-mad lord and master’s behest. Realistically, I know these lavvy headed numpties are in the minority BUT still, I expect it’ll be months and months before I’ll feel comfortable traveling outside my safe community.

Sometimes a little fear can be a wonderful prophylactic.

I want to see Daddy. I want to see my man, Ten. NEED to see them. I also need to be in Iceland, floating in the peaceful, warm lagoon.

In the meantime, I’ll take comfort in the Constitution’s 20th Amendment AND that there are enough state laws (there is no federal election for president; instead, it’s 50 state elections ) to prevent the Republi/Fascists from stealing another election.