Prep

Worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.
~ Corrie Ten Boom 

I know I've posted her wise words before but, ya know, they bear repeating...and shit.

To hear the phrase "our only hope" always makes one anxious, because it means that if the only hope doesn't work, there is nothing left.
~ Lemony Snicket

ALWAYS have fall-back plans/schemes! I betcha even Princess Leia had more ideas up her sleeve if Obi Wan didn’t come through.

Life is ten percent what you experience and ninety percent how you respond to it.
~ Dorothy M. Neddermeyer 

This sounds breezy, cazh and painfully buttoned down – like one of those obnoxious and intellectually insulting posters in a big corporation’s HR office – but this one's, more or less, true.

I grieve for my poor, sad, banjaxed neurological system. Yes I’m afraid of what lies ahead but, rilly now, my fears always turn into anger. Anger turns into determination. Determination turns into focused problem solving and prep. When there’s no more prep to do I paint. OK, actually, I’m painting all along. Writing too.

My prep?

√ I have the best neurologist in the country minding my fucked up system and I have two of the most brill, talented surgeons. So, that bit’s already sorted. Yea me!

√ I have abso-fucking-tremendous friends who will stay with me, take care of me post surgery. More YEA. IF Trump’s Plague makes it so that folks, besides Jen and Oni, can’t come to stay with me for a day or two, I’ll, post-MGH, spend a week in Spaulding Rehab. Not as cool as being home in my own bed with Coco on my lap BUT I’ll be taken care of.

√ I’ve already got a shower chair and grab bars have been installed. My fancy Nitro Drive walker is on the way – should be here within the week.

√ I’ll look into absentee voting/vote by mail. Between spine slice up and potential bean biting (if I don’t qualify for the new, experimental magic pill trials) I dunno that I’ll be up for standing in long voting lines.

I’ve done this spine dance twice before – I know the deal. Shit’s just gonna hurt like holy hell. I can deal.

Anxiety's like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you very far.
~ Jodi Picoult, Sing You Home

Yeah, being all freaked about more surgery is just a goddamn waste of time. I don’t have patience for that shit.

If my life wasn’t funny it would just be true and that is unacceptable.
~ Carrie Fisher

YES, THIS! If I can’t have fun, I don’t wanna play. 

I’m not some serious, deep thinker who gets all wavy thrilled at the prospect of discussing:

• the meaning of life (there ain’t none – we live, we die, between those two occurrences, try to have some fun and not to hurt anyone)
• does God exist (who the fuck knows? We’ll find out, mebbe, when we die)
• is there life on other planets (again, who the fuck knows. I imagine there is but I doubt there’ll be absolute proof of that within my lifetime)
  

Noperino. I’m all about Be Here Now, laughs, attempting to not damage the planet or other humans and, fucking, cleaning up after myself.

Dammit.