What's It Really Mean?

What’s your definition of “friend?”
Merriam-Webster has a wide array of possibilities but all seem to miss the mark.

The closest is:
    1. one attached to another by affection or esteem
A little too vague. It goes downhill from there.

    2. one that is not hostile
Christ-on-a-crisp almighty. This depends on how you define ‘hostile,’ doesn’t it? It could be anyone as long as they’re not holding a knife to your throat. OR it could mean ONLY those who have your exact same beliefs. In my case, I would never consider a MAGAt as a friend…of course. You vote to make me a third class citizen, quash my humanity, take away my healthcare—you ain’t no friend of mine. Similarly, an extreme left winger, a BernieBro fer instance, is always gonna be suspect. They seem a tad invested in magical thinking versus my, or others, solid reality.

    3. one that favors or promotes something (such as a charity)
Just because we belong to the same social group does NOT mean we’re friends. You may be an acquaintance but ‘friend?’ Not yet. Maybe never.

    4. A favored companion
OK, I can see that. Maybe those feelings aren’t reciprocated but that doesn’t change the definition.

The generic Google definition seems more on the mark

A person who you knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.

It's more fleshed out than Merriam-Webster’s first definition. That’s cool. Better even.

From here there are levels of friendness. Fer instance:
BFFs – best friends forever.

You can discuss absolutely anything. This is a person you’d go to the can in front of, who takes care of you when you get outta of MGH, who you’re not embarrassed to ugly-cry in front of. Yeah, this is Jen.

Close-ish friends. You don’t see each other often but feel you could talk about almost anything anyway. They might not take care of you after an MGH stay but they’ll, at least, send flowers and, possibly even, Fratelli’s baked goods.

Distance Friends. You abso LOVE this person and, if you just lived on the same coast, you’d see them a fuckton more often. This doesn’t mean you’re in constant contact. Years, eons can pass but closeness, the depth of your connection remains.

Friends. You see each other but not often, haven’t got tons in common but enough to get through a dinner or drinks get together. You always say you’d see this friend more if you weren’t so busy.

Facebook Friends. This tells me less than nada. You could be anything from BFFs to not knowing each other at all.

See, there are a zillion variations on this friend thing. Calling someone a 'friend' is really not giving much info  at all.