Fresh Challenge Ahead

Coco doesn’t miss a trick. I woke for what I’d hoped was a brief lemme-just-roll-over-here moment—my eyes must have flicked open, giving me away. In one red hot moment, my precious old kitten was perched on my chest proclaiming her dire need for pats and chin skriches. I didn’t stand a chance.

Did you know? It’s possible to sleep skrich. Yup. I fell back into Dreamland whilst tickling her under the chin. OK, maybe not BUT there were no witnesses so it could be! In any case, no complaints were tendered by my feline overlord AND I feel as though I'd had enough sleep.

I must get another good night in Sleepy-bye Land tonight. Coco and I will have a convo about this later.

Tomorrow is my proton prep day. I realized (on Monday, thenkyewveddymuch) that I’m a bit nervous and down about this. Warum? For starters, while most of the staff, in general, at MGH is very nice and competent, I’m really full up on being there. Honestly now, over the past few years I’ve accumulated enough frequent surgery miles to wipe out all medical debt for everyone, everywhere. Fer realies and shit!

I’m just not so thrilled about going in. Also too, though I’ve done radiation before, proton therapy is a whole new ballgame.

Proton therapy uses a special machine called a cyclotron or synchrotron to accelerate protons. Protons are extracted from the particle accelerator and directed with magnetic fields to the tumor. The depth of penetration of the protons is related to their energy and can be precisely controlled to match the location of the tumor. (source)

Well, this sounds wild. Maybe in an alternate universe or in another lifetime I am or could be a proton radiation doc. This is some fascinating, Star Trek type shit!

I found a video: About Radiation Therapy Treatment at Mass General. It’s not exactly all warm, fuzzy and calming but at least it gave me some idea of what I can expect from tomorrow’s prep session. Also, oh yeah, I’m taking a calm-me-down pill tonight!

I feel fairly confident that, after a few beamings, the whole process will become less scary; possibly routine. After all, I’ll be doing this every goddamn day for close to two months. Tedious, maybe it'll even be tedious.

Yesterday I walked 500 feet—that’s more than twice as far as I’ve been able to walk in more than a year. Yea me! I need to get as much foot action in as I can before the dreaded radiation fatigue and soreness sets in.

Yes, the theme from Rocky is, as before every fresh challenge, playing in my head. What’s funny, to me anyway, is that I’ve never seen the movie. Of course I haven't! It’s a flick about boxing—a “sport” even more barbaric than American football. WHY would I want to watch two dudes beating the crap out of each other? WHY would I shell out my hard earned cabbage to witness this repulsive, sadistic spectacle?

Still, the song gets me psyched up for the battle ahead.