Walkies

Yesterday's gorgeous foggy view

I’m proud of me. 

So far this week, I’ve taken long walks (‘long’ is defined as 225 or more feet) every day AND even done brief stints (‘brief’ as in five minutes) on the elliptical. Sure this probably doesn’t sound like much but, for me, it’s good, good progress. I’m feeling all encouraged and shit.

It’s been almost one year (tomorrow’s the anniversary) since my last dance of the sugarplum craniotomies.

In those first days and weeks post brain surgery I repeatedly asked “will I walk again.”  I was told that it was likely but recovery would take six months to a year or more (AKA FOREVER!). I was also told that it was probable I’d always need the brace in addition to the walker to get around. I had such a hard time hearing, acknowledging let alone embracing this info. It was a bleak possible future that I just couldn’t deal with so, for the most part, I didn't. Yes, I DID take in the info but it was tamped down, put on the back burner.

My focus needed to be on recovery, regaining strength and ability.

Then I had that little (BIG!) set back with the monster meningioma mass on my spine—that was four and a half months ago. The odds of me regaining any easy mobility dropped further. Donna was not a happy camper. Not. At. All.

With the stupendous support and patience of Ten, Jen, Oni AND my fabulous physical therapists (Judy and Philomena), I’ve been able to drag my thundering round ass up to the point where I can see daylight.

Yes, I still need the walker to get around but NOT the brace. Maybe one day in the not so far away future, I’ll be able to ditch the walker; graduate to just a cane. After that? Fuck man, maybe I’ll even fly like Superman. It could, like, totally happen—ya know?

The most important lesson learned over this past painful year has been restraint. That is, I’m less impulsive now. Having taken more than a few major falls over this recovery, I’ve learned to think before leaping up. I’ve learned that there’s a difference between thoughtful caution and being frozen by fear. Self-preservation and chickenhearted dormancy are not the same thing.

I’m also less impatient. If I’m tired, I stop and rest but I get up again. You are never gonna keep me down.

Yes, now that you mention it, everything IS in fact a song cue.

I can see clearly now the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Here is that rainbow I’ve been praying for

It’s gonna be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny day
Johnny Nash—I Can See Clearly Now