Time Wasters

I get suckered in by those funny, horrible, weirdly interesting list posts. Things like A Collection of Tweets That Tickle Our Funny Bone and Make Us Think (who doesn’t want a bunch of quick laughs?), Women Disagree With 30 Actions Men Think Are OK (hey, my curiosity is piqued), Real-Life Doctors Ranked These Medical Shows From Least To Most Realistic (how did M.A.S.H. rate—I gotta know!), Twitter Users Share Memorable Interview Moments That Left Them Speechless, etc.

Problem—I click on this crap when I’m wasting time on my tinyphone. I do this whenever I’m putting off something constructive like folding and putting away my laundry (which counts as balance exercising), climbing on the elliptical, getting the fuck out of bed and dressed or, really, anything at all.

The vast majority of these sites are just ad after ad after ad plus, yes, more ads. The ads take up most of the already bitty phone screen, making it all but impossible for my old wonky eyes to read. I try though. Actually that should be past tense—I tried. No more.

The funny, interesting or weird tweet collections, cute animal meme posts and whatever else are, at most, incidental to the flashing pop up and embedded ads.

The posts are like oatmeal cookies but with more nasty raisins than oatmeal.

This one, These Entitled Passengers Are The WORST, was entertaining and, relative to all the others, had fewer ads. Down side? I never want to fly again.

For some reason this brings an old beau to mind. He was all flashy charm, handsome as hell and built like a brick shithouse. Jim was reasonably intelligent but, outside the boudoir, more than a bit dull. All sugary raisins, very little oatmeal. Ultimately, a time waster.

If he’d been an app or website, I would’ve hit ⌘-Q much quicker. Honestly, it really should be as easy to negotiate relationships as it is a computer keyboard.

Now I’m in the mood for cookies. One withOUT raisins, thenkyewveddymuch! Coconut macaroons with the wonderful dark chocolate bottoms? Yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about!