Rusty sporks and mood killers

Did you know? Swimming in a pool of rageaholic shit-for-brains bullies is a real mood killer. It’s like being in high school again. Yes, I’m talking about the goddamn bird app again. I can block them, sure, but they reproduce like meth addled Duggars.

I got sucked back in because of Ask Aubry (specifically her often funny, sometimes hilarious commenters) and now I’m out…again. Why? The comments section became drenched in jerkwadian bully boys who, if there’s a shred of decency and justice in the world, will never, ever get laid—not even if they pay for it. Also, there's only so many stories about ignorant, entitled, head-up-their-ass white dudes I can read before having the definite need for a cleansing, ultra hot shower. All that rain room time leads to dry skin and I only have so much moisturizer in the house.

So, fuck those noisy trolls with a puke covered, rusty spork.

I especially want to stay off social media in general today as it’s the Orange Asshole’s big day. Will there be hordes of losers, brandishing their AR-15-style penis substitutes, threatening justice and democracy? Have the members of his incompetent cult learned nothing from their little January 6th outing? Not only did he not pay their legal fees, he’ll never see the inside of the White House again so all his pardon pledges are bullshit too.

Even the BBC and Al Jazeera are posting speculative opinion pieces. So, I’ll not read the news either. I’ve got better things to do like reading John Scalzi’s The End of All Things, rehab walking and ellipticalling, folding clothes (which, as long as I do it while standing, counts as rehab work), bugging Ten to take me to CVS so I can get a passport pic taken and, since we’ll be in the neighborhood anyway, stopping by Saint Fratelli’s. I’m pretty sure Jen’s all out of chocolate dipped cannoli and that’s just flat out WRONG.

Wouldn’t it be nice (as in totally, bloody fantastico) if the hate spewing Mar-a-Lago mutant was jailed today? Ya know, he’s a treason tantruming, violent mayhem provocateur and a flight risk.  If he’s free, what’s gonna stop him from fucking off to his Bonesaw buddy or one of his totalitarian dictator chums?

Lock him up and shit.