Carrot Cake for Brekkie

I have osteoporosis. Isn’t that just 99 kinds of special? ‘the fuck is this shit anyway?

Osteoporosis is a bone disease that develops when bone mineral density and bone mass decreases, or when the quality or structure of bone changes. This can lead to a decrease in bone strength that can increase the risk of broken bones.
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Osteoporosis is the major cause of fractures in postmenopausal women and in older men. Fractures can occur in any bone but happen most often in bones of the hip, vertebrae in the spine, and wrist.
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Osteoporosis is called a “silent” disease” because there are typically no symptoms until a bone is broken. Symptoms of vertebral (spine) fracture include severe back pain, loss of height, or spine malformations such as a stooped or hunched posture (kyphosis). (source)

I've never broken any of the bones in my spine BUT I'm now nearly two inches shorter than I was five years ago. I blame all my spine surgeries (four so far—wheeee!) for that shit though.

Given my propensity for rare diseases, is osteoporosis common? 

Yes actually.

It affects almost 20% (1 in 5) of women aged 50 and over and almost 5% (1 in 20) of men aged 50 and over. (source)

How/why did I know to get tested for this shit? Was I breaking bones every six minutes or so? Shockingly, given my wonk-ass balance and how often I was falling during my hospital/rehab facility years, no. Doc Plotkin has been making me take bone density tests (simple, NOT scary, scans) for more than a few years now in an effort to head off me becoming the Bone Break Kid. Can you feature me in a cast? Fuck no! I’ve got more than enough wrong with me as it is.

Mega sadly, carrot cake contains NO vitamin D. Good news though, one slice (defined as 1/10 of 1-layer, 8" or 9" diameter cake) has 46 milligrams of calcium. You might be thinking ‘that ain’t much, Donna.’

Party pooper! That’s glass-half-full thinking and NOT helpful.

I say, ‘it’s got calcium which means it’s good for me AND a fine breakfast choice.’ That there is just irrefutable logic.

Besides eating carrot cake for breakfast as well as other foods chock-full of vitamin D and calcium, how else can I combat bone density loss? 

• Doing weight-bearing exercises like walking. ✔
• Limit my adult bev intake. ✔
• No ciggies. ✔
• Take my goddamn pill religiously. ✔

I’m on it.