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Monday, November 27, 2023


Do violins belong in rock music?

Take Bridge Over Troubled Water for example—the violin section on the original version was the entire reason why, for eons, I hated the song. The strings were too heavy and overwhelmed the ground floor beauty—they gave it a regular  Laurence Welk vibe. It felt like a betrayal of the song’s self.

Eleanor Rigby had a string section but that’s not the first thing I remember about it. That’s good. It means that it added something instead of acting like glitter on a raw silk dress.

There’s Kashmir. I can only bring a vague sense of its churning, seething brilliance to mind though. The fact that I recall seething brilliance versus soap bubbles and champagne strings suggests that, yes, you can use violins in rock without transforming the music into sappy pablum.

Speaking of Led Zeppelin, one of my favorite tunes was Immigrant Song. Did you know? It’s listed as Viking Metal on Wikipedia. I didn't know there was such a thing. Also Folk Metal exists. I didn’t know that Viking OR Folk Metal were, ya know, actual things/genres.

Just FYI, as long as I have Led Zeppelin in my bean, The Battle of Evermore (as covered by Heart) might well be my top beloved Page/Plant creation.
Is pansexual the same as bisexual? No but the difference is a real squeaker. 

Bi people would say they experience attraction to multiple genders while Pansexual people would say they experience attraction regardless of gender or despite gender. (source)

Let’s see if I’m following this—if you’re Bi, you find both the male and female form sexually attractive. If you’re Pan, you’re hot for a person’s personalty/palatial inner being/whatevs and their gender is irrelevant.

One is about bodies and the other is about souls? Do I have that right?
Did you know there are cauliflower waffles now? You know me, I’m not a kitchen person—I’m intrigued but I’m not gonna go all kitchen wizard alchemical and shit. I went intertoobz hunting to see if there were frozen ones like Annie's Organic Homestyle Waffles but cauliflower. No joy.

I did find cauliflower breadcrumbs, tots, pasta, pizza crusts, fries, pretzels, chips, puffs, hash browns and tortillas though. This, by the by, is on top of all the microwavable side dishes.

Can corporate America please stop trying to make cauliflower a thing? I mean, sure, it’s a vegetable and full of healthy goodness BUT it’s boring and white. Also…it’s booooooooring. Potatoes are white too but, with some razzle dazzle, they’re amazing, transcendent and life affirming. Cauliflower? You can razzle dazzle the fuck out of it and it’s still duller than dirt.

Mind, it’s not in-your-face offensive, like kale, but c’mon…if I want to eat a small shrub I’ll have broccoli. Even without beautiful seasoning or bucket loads of cheddar sauce, broccoli has actual flavor.

Having said this, I would definitely give cauliflower waffles a try.


  1. StrangeAppar8tus at the long defunct RumpRoast said cauliflower is the mercy fuck of vegetables.