Ramblings

I have a birthday coming up next month. Don’t you think someone should present me with a 1967 MGB Roadster? I’m partial to canary yellow or lime green, though a deep lavender would be fabulous.

Yeah sure, I no longer have a driver’s license but, FFS, this is a work of art we’re taking about! I don’t need to motor around—I just want to admire its curves and stone cuteness. I want to sit luxuriantly in the driver’s seat and stare out at the water. Okay, I’d also like to drive a manual transmission again. Go out in traffic though? Especially Boston traffic? NO thank you!
~~~
Have you ever thought about having plastic surgery? IF I had the dosh to throw away, IF I wasn’t already way over my surgery quota for this lifetime, what might I have done?

• Breast and butt reduction? Nah, I could just lose 10 pounds.

• Is there a skin rejuvenation and smoother op? I had nasty cystic acne as a kid—it’d be mega sweet to have peachy, creamy skin. 

• What about hair restoration? I mean, for as much as I despise the Twitter Twat (AKA Space Karen, AKA Apartheid Clyde, AKA Rocket Nonce, etc.), his hair replacement job was pretty good, especially when compared to the Don the Con’s.

 Eh, that won’t work. I’ve too many big time scars crisscrossing my scalp. There’s not enough fertile ground up there for new fluff planting.

Okay, I guess I’m not gonna go down Plastic Road. Not even if I win the lottery. I guess the spectacularly dimbulbed and plasticized Trumpettes will have to struggle on without me.

 Oh well.
~~~
I think this must be just me—I haven’t been watching the Olympics. Granted, I don’t have a teevee connection—just a DVD player for watching escapist wonders like Star Trek, Terminator and Alien.

Yesterday, my physical therapist, Judy, asked if I was watching. The only thing I’d be interested in seeing is gymnastics—specifically women’s floor ex. Okay, in particular, I wanna see Simone Biles’s routine. I imagine there’ll be videos online.

I used to get excited about watching the Olympics. Not just gymnastics either. I enjoyed the swimming and skiing events too. Is my disinterest due to my age? I’m old—there’s a lot of stuff that I don’t give a shit about anymore AND I’ve never been a sports fan anyway.

Maybe this isn’t age related. Possibly I just can’t relate and/or I’m deeply envious. Yesterday, after a setback lasting a week and a half, I was able to walk down to the seawall and back without having to sit and rest at any point. I deserve a silver medal, at least, for that!

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you was?
~ Satchel Paige

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
~ Ogden Nash

When you laugh, laugh like hell. And when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough.
~ William Saroyan