Cats Googling

If cats could do internet searches what would they look for?

• Catnip dealers within 1 mile of my location.

• Does this constitute neglect? I can see the bottom of my kibble bowl.

• Where did my balls go?

• Best spots for puking.

• Chewing on plastic addiction. 12 step programs in my area.

• French stray cats in space

• Why does the vacuum cleaner terrify me?

• Am I 10 years old or 55? When do I qualify for Caticare?

• How to discreetly sniff the neighbor's butt.

• Why won’t my minions serve me fresh tuna versus canned?

• Grumpy Cat—clinically depressed or just an asshole?

• Why am I not allowed in the bathroom anymore?

• Was The Cat in the Hat an anarchist?

• Dogs embarrassing themselves, video

• Cheap fur stylists in my area

• How to make minions take the blame for my farts.

• Was Morris gay?

• Did Sylvester have plastic surgery?

• Hello Kitty porn

• Was the Cheshire Cat doing LSD or magic mushrooms?

• What is bitcoin and is it made by 9 Lives?

• Will Fancy Feast finance my bid for mayor of Valhalla?

• Refinancing my mortgage

• Who else is as cool as Tombili?

• How to get minions to buy me a heating pad OR turn up the heat in the damn house.

There are two means of refuge from the misery of life — music and cats.
~ Albert Schweitzer

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
~ Winston S. Churchill

One day I was counting the cats and I absent-mindedly counted myself.
~ Bobbie Ann Mason, Shiloh and Other Stories