I first encountered Holmes on Twitter. She posts screenshots of her interactions with romance scammers and other creepers. Now on Threads, her handle is @deathtospinach.During the Covid-19 pandemic, Holmes joined X (then known as Twitter, which she still insists on calling it) for the first time and entertained herself by responding to direct messages from men who claimed to be lovesick soldiers or oil rig workers dying to meet her—if only she’d pay their way. She eventually started posting her interactions with these impostors, some of whom claimed to be celebrities like Keanu Reeves, and reproduces many of the conversations here, to hilarious effect (she strung one self-identified Prince William along by sending pictures of the Buckingham Palace gates, claiming she was right outside). (source)Her responses to these fraudsters are hilariously unhinged. (click on the images for embiggening action)
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| “Alaye”is the Yoruban word for “explanation.” It’s been used by scammers as a code word to determine if someone they are talking to is also a scammer. |
Conjure up, if you will, a mental image of a victim of romance fraud. You’re thinking of a lonely, unattractive, less-than-intelligent, middle-aged woman, right? Absolutely not. I have interviewed dozens of victims and not one of them fitted this stereotype.
Among the women I spoke to were a doctor, a chief executive, a lawyer and a detective. These are highly intelligent, educated and articulate women at the top of their game, with good networks of friends and family. None of them considered themselves lonely….The fraudsters will target anyone. Yes, even you.
They will find out what they can about you and use it against you. You lost someone you love? So did they. You wish you had children? They have a child who would love you. You are religious? He is a churchgoer. You get the picture. Coercive control is at the very centre of this, and whatever story the fraudster concocts, including the ones pretending to be celebrities, it will end with them urgently needing money. (source)
I’ve had some pretty deep, sub-basement level lows—all my surgeries and recoveries, losing The Amazing Bob, music vanishing in a cloud of tumors, etc. If I’d been targeted by a fraudster during one of my nadirs maybe I’d have been hustled, left penniless and deeply ashamed too.
There have been times when I’ve replied to strangers (men) who’ve sent me direct messages on various social media platforms. Why? For as misanthropic as I am, I still find people interesting and enjoy new stories and perspectives. How’d these turn out? With me seeing, early on, that these dudes were boring as hell or just bad writers, odd (and not in a good way), and more than a bit creepy. Much blocking, before they could ask for money, ensued. Yes, I’ll block someone for the crime of being dull and a poor wordsmith. I’ve never claimed to be a nice, tolerant person!
If the victim’s a man there’s more immediate sympathy and rage against the evil bitch who perpetrated the emotional and financial crime.
“We need to stop referring to people as ‘falling for’ a scam. We don’t say someone ‘fell for a burglary’ or ‘fell for an assault.’ Romance fraud is not something that people ‘fall for’; it is something that happens to them.”Keanu Reeves Is Not in Love with You is weird, wacky, witty, engaging AND truly informative. A must read.
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