Not That There’s Anything Wrong With That

Jen took her car in for its 18 month check up yesterday. 

Aren’t these things suppose to be done once a year? Isn’t a year 12 months? No? Sorry, my mistake – carry on. 

Anyway, the car’s all fine and dandy. Passed with flying colors and shit. Jen had the check up and servicing done at the dealership – a Subaru dealership. I, naturally had to ask “so, you’re a lesbian now? When did this happen? How did I fail to notice? Does Oni know yet?”

Our infinitely patient Jen replied, ”no Donna, I have a Subaru Crosstrek (NOT to be confused with the Subaru Star Trek which, to date, does not exist), NOT a Forester. So, not gay.” 

Right. RIGHT! It’s the Forester. *ahem* USED to be the Outback. I get all those Subarus confused. I’m terribly out of date. Mi scusi and shit.

In any case. Jen had a cozy time at the Subaru dealership. She said all the other customers were like her – little to no makeup, no dye jobs, clad in comfortable, casual attire. She said it looked like a book club or political action meeting for middle-aged, laid back, New England women.

Now, back when I still drove, I had a SmartCar and had it serviced at the Mercedes-Benz dealership. That’s who made Smart cars. The Mercedes/Smart shared dealership didn’t have the comfy, homey, Vermont-ish vibe Jen found at Subaru. Nope. It was dudes and dudettes in slick business suits on work calls or reading the Wall Street Journal or some other uptight, boring-ass, money-industry rag. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I kind of stood out in my tie dye T, metallic silver Vans, and yoga pants, reading my comic books but whatevs, eh?

Here’s what I think would be ideal for a dealership waiting room for when my car (if I was still a driver) goes in for its annual appointment. These things take…what? An hour or so? There should be seasonal snacks. It’s winter and I’m in Boston. I’m thinking clam chowder with a thick slab of warm dark rye bread. There should be hot chocolate (with real whipped cream), a fancy schmancy coffee, and/or a nice Lapsang Souchong. That would do me up just right. There should be deep, dark, lushly upholstered club chairs and chaises with packed bookshelves lining the walls. They should contain epic amounts of brill short story collections since none of us will be there long enough to read more than that. Any windows – I’m imagining floor to ceiling, with views of the Charles or Boston Harbor – will be shaded by deep emerald velvet drapes. Sounds ideal, right?

Question – is there a gay men’s equivalent to the stereotype of lesbians owning Subarus? Not really. Light googling shows that gay men are  supposedly also in the Forester camp but favor the boring ass Audi RS Q8 and Kia EV6 as well. Zzzzzzzzz. I’ve seen the Jeep Wrangler Rubicon  mentioned but, OOOF, how boxy and utterly inelegant.

Look, I totally understand the wish for a sturdy, practical, utilitarian vehicle. Honest I do but can we PLEASE have just a wee bit of style? I’d LOVE to have a Karmann Ghia BUT we need the trunk room for my rollator and wheelchair. Compromise was in order. What’d we get? An electric two door MINI Cooper. Adorable, no?

Is there no possible way to make an SUV, a jeep, a vehicle appropriate for the wilds of exurbia such that it has at least some small shred of duende? Can designers at least not make them look like untalented children’s drawings of boxes with wheels?

By the by, in the 1990s and 00s, Subaru actively marketed to LGBTQ people. Savvy. Very.

Things That Go Boom

A Cybertruck (or Wanktank as they’re commonly known) exploded on New Years Day outside Trump’s Bedbug Motel in Las Vegas. This just really seems like a one-line joke that Eddie Murphy or George Carlin would toss off in a stand-up routine. It’s not though.
Anyone remember when Ford Pintos were the exploding cars? At least the Pinto had to be hit by another vehicle before detonation.

In fact, NTHSA (National Highway Traffic Safety Administration) data showed that for 1971-77, there were 38 rear-end collisions of Pintos that resulted in fire, leading to 27 deaths and 24 non-fatal burn injuries. During the same period, Ford produced 2,600,000 Pintos.
     ~~~
There is much to fault Ford for regarding its handling of the Grimshaw case. (see the Mother Jones article) It didn’t take it seriously, nor understand the depth of animosity it faced. It lost. Later, when an Indiana state prosecutor charged Ford with criminal recklessness and reckless homicide for the Pinto, Ford took it quite seriously... (source) 

In contrast, Cybertrucks are self-exploding. Slick trick, no? Okay, okay, I’ve read that, in the Bedbug Motel case, the truckbed was full of fireworks. Maybe the monstrosity didn’t spontaneously destruct all on its own BUT the Wankmobiles have a well deserved rep. They just came out in November 2023 and:

In 2024, Tesla recalled approximately 5.1 million vehicles—more than any other U.S. car manufacturer, with Ford coming in second place with 4.3 million recalls.

The aesthetically unique and much “memed” about Tesla Cybertruck accounted for at least 28,250 of those recalls, leaving drivers in the lurch and often even put at serious risk. (source)

Tesla vehicles in general? As of December 27th of 2024:

Tesla Deaths Total: 647 | Tesla Autopilot Deaths Count: 52, including 2 fatalities involving the use of Full Self Driving. (source)

Motor Trend has deemed Tesla the deadliest vehicle in the world. They site a study by iSeeCars.com which found that Tesla has the highest fatal accident rate of all car brands followed by Kia, Buick, Dodge, and Hyundai.

Meanwhile, back in Vegas at the Orange Menace Motel…
 
There was one fatality and several injuries in the Wankmobile blowup. Gee, I wonder if the incoming billionaire co-presidents Musk and Trump will be paying funeral and medical expenses for the dead and injured. I won't hold my breath.

Friendless Ketamine addict and Danger Car CEO says the explosion which also injured seven bystanders was ‘likely to be a terrorist attack.’ Maybe it was. Maybe it wasn’t. It’s too soon to say. What’s clear to me is that Boy Blunder is hot to create his own reality just like his daddy the Russian stooge. I’m seriously expecting that Leon will start telling 'Sir' stories soon. You know, a big strong man with tears in his eyes came up to me saying “I’ve never felt safe on the road until I drove your death-trap dumpster-mobiles.”  

No, no…strike that. Musk’s fictitious fan would call it a “beautiful, sleekly designed answer to all his automotive dreams.”

In Domestic Terrorism news:

That New Orleans killer? Shamsud-Di Jabbar was born and raised in Beaumont, Texas and was a 13 year army vet which included a deployment to Afghanistan. Sure, he’s got a Middle Eastern name but he’s as American as Marco Rubio (born in Miami, FL), Vivek Ramaswamy (Cincinnati, OH), Tulsi Gabbard (American Samoa), etc.

This was domestic, home-baked terrorism. Just like the January 6th MAGAts at the Capitol. No different from the May 2022 murder of 10 people in a Buffalo, New York grocery. Domestic terrorism just like the 2018 attack on a Pittsburgh synagogue that left 11 people dead.

All but eight states across the U.S. experienced at least one incident of domestic terrorism between 2010 and 2021. And over the last 10 years, domestic terrorism-related investigations have grown by 357%. (source)

What’s the difference between Shamsud-Din Jabbar and Payton Gendron or Robert Gregory Bowers? Skin color and religion. 

This is America’s reality. Two rich beyond belief, fully incompetent, racist, narcissistic, bomb-throwing buffoons will be in charge of the country in just a few weeks. You just KNOW that Leon won’t be able to keep his hands off the nuclear football.

We are SO fucked as is the rest of the world.

YES!

THIS is how it's done!

" President Joe Biden grabbed a bullhorn on the picket line Tuesday and urged striking auto workers to “stick with it” in an unparalleled show of support for organized labor by a modern president.

Donning a union ballcap and exchanging fist bumps, Biden told United Auto Workers strikers that “you deserve the significant raise you need” ...

“No deal, no wheels!” workers chanted as Biden arrived at a General Motors parts distribution warehouse, one of several facilities that has been targeted in a widening strike now in its 12th day. “No pay, no parts!”  

Despite concerns that a prolonged strike could undermine the economy, particularly in the crucial battleground state of Michigan, the Democratic president encouraged workers to keep fighting for better wages at a time when car companies have seen rising profits. " (source)

***

" The White House announced Mr Biden’s visit to the UAW workers last week, soon after Mr Trump announced he would skip the 27 September Republican presidential debate in California to visit Detroit, the heart of US vehicle manufacturing.
     ~~~
Mr Biden was invited to visit the UAW members by the group’s president, Shawn Fain, who has sometimes been critical of Mr Trump.

In his Truth Social post, Mr Trump - who has not been invited by the UAW - vowed that car workers are “toast” if they do not endorse him and if he does not win the election. " (source) 

He's threatening the workers and their union. Somehow—and I could be mistaken but, ya know, doubt it—I don't think this'll be a winning strategy.

***

Referring to the currently out on bail fraudster/grifter/sex offender UAW President Shawn Fain told CNN:

" "I don't think the man has any bit of care about what our workers stand for, what the working class stands for."

"He serves the billionaire class and that's what's wrong with this country," Fain added.
     ~~~
Trump is scheduled to give a prime-time speech Wednesday instead of attending the second Republican primary debate. " (source)

Cheeto will do anything to avoid getting on stage with his challengers. He knows, on some deep down level, that he's incapable of making any sort of coherent argument or defense. The golf cart riding, shouting, bloated tray of grease soaked cheap burgers and fries can't even keep his Bush brothers straight. He thinks we’re headed into World War II and that he beat Obama, not Clinton, in 2016. The former guy’s not exactly connected to reality.

***

" Former President Donald Trump said he was traveling to Detroit to rally with striking autoworkers, but the location he settled on for his Wednesday event is a nonunion parts supplier whose workers aren’t at all involved with the strike.

...Shawn Fain pointed that out after President Joe Biden’s stop at a picket line in Belleville, Michigan, on Tuesday.

“I find it odd he’s going to go to a nonunion business to talk to union workers,” Fain told reporters after Biden’s stop. “I don’t think he gets it, but that’s up to people to decide.”  " (source)

Godzilla

Sometimes ya just gotta give in to your strange, whimsical nature. Okay, I need to and yes, I'm fully aware that my odd yet vaguely amusing nature is, in point of fact, my standard operating mode.

Yesterday Ten and I went down to the MINI dealership and picked up our long awaited electric two door hardtop in what they call “grasshopper” green (with racing stripes!). It’s a beauty, is it not? You bet yur ass it’s a handsome beast AND the ride over Valhalla’s pothole riddled roads is shockingly, wonderfully smooth. Ever since my last two surgeries (7th brain and 5th spine op) in 2021, jaunts in Bix have been mercilessly painful. It got to the point that Jen had to take me to all my doc appointments—I couldn’t Superwoman my way through the commute in the wee, suspension-free Smartcar.

While Godzilla is also a small car, it’s not microscopic. My rollator folds up neatly to fit in the back—in fact, should I ever need the wheelchair again, it would fit in there nicely as well along with baggage for a ROAD TRIP (yes, there is now one or a zillion in our future). This beast is spacious! Also, the storage space folds up so there’s a back seat. Cool!

Now then, about that name. Why did we (okay, why did I) name our new coach-and-four after a 1954 movie kaiju?

1. It’s funny/cute (to me) that my little car is named after a magnificently freaky, giant lizard.
2. I’ve always been especially fond of the kaiju Godzilla and have long wanted to name a cat, car or other random possession after him.
3. They look (car and lizard), not alike but similar—they're both a lovely shade of green.

Yes, Cake would have been named for my favorite monster BUT I remembered the important lesson in furry guardian naming that TAB taught me: Hard consonant sounds and short appellations (two syllables or less) are easier for cats to hear and understand.

Okay then. The new car gets the honored sobriquet of Godzilla. Jen has suggested we could use ‘Zilla as a shortened, pet name. I asked, “why not God?” (not that I have any Christofascist, evangelical readers but I can picture the imaginary lot of them gasping deeply, as one. That gives me a distinct schadenfreude-y satisfaction).

The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced that Godzilla is the perfect name for our new electric MINI.

CarTalk

My monstrous loaner

It's annual service time for my lovely, wee Bix. The awesome service folk offered me a loaner so's I wouldn't have to T and hoof it all day. Cool – I had a zillion errands and thought, mebbe, since I'd be all the way in Boston already, I could go a bit further and have a walk around Walden. Haven't done that since our Cambridge days. AND, long as I'm out that way, I could hit the deCordova too!

Great ideas, no?

I was figuring the loaner would be some slick late model Smart – like Bix but younger, maybe in yellow, possibly an electric! Yup, I was all thrillingly worked up as I waited for the service dude to bring it 'round. Imagine my surprise and disappointment when he wheels up in this monster huge (relative to my Bix) stylistically boring beast.

Yeah, I ixnayed my big bopping around the Western 'burbs plans. Not only is this hulk MUCH larger than my comfortably small Smart, it’s a very expensive beast. An oopsie in this sucker would set me way the fuck back. Geez, even a tiny scratch would cost more cabbage than I wanted to envision.

Now then, Smarts are made by Mercedes BUT they're affordably priced – even, barely, for me. The starting price, four years ago, was in the $12,000 range. Yes, it’s just a two seater but me and The Amazing Bob didn’t need more than that. In contrast, this temp ride – a Mercedes C300 4matic –  starts at around $41,500. Motherfucking OOF!

According to U.S. News and World Report’s Car Rankings & Advice page:

The 2017 Mercedes-Benz C-Class ranks 6 out of 20 Luxury Small Cars. The 2017 Mercedes-Benz C-Class swaddles its occupants in elegant comfort. It’s full of high-tech features and luxurious cabin materials, and it smooths out bumps in the road. It’s not particularly sporty, however.

A “luxury small car.” Luxurious – absolument! It's utterly posh. Small? Not so’s you’d notice. Rather, it could, possibly, be considered small next to an adult bull elephant or, say, a 1960 Lincoln Continental…fer instance.

On my way home from Smart Heaven, I managed to run most of my errands (only the ones that wouldn't involve parallel parking) and I hit the gym. Yea me but all this driving was done with my adrenaline way up in the stratosphere. I'm hoping that burns calories since I needed an extra cup 'o' Chianti at day's end. HEY, you would too! OK, prolly not. Nevermind.

Given that Bix is now an adult car, bigger things are beginning to need attention. In people years he’d be….lessee now, after one year cars are in their teens, right? At two, they’re young adults. After that, each year equals four human years. Si? That means my Bix is now, more or less, carry the one, in his mid 30s.

What did this year’s annual service reveal? I need a new muffler in order to pass inspection next month. Parts and labor will run me close to a grand – this on top of the general service charge equals ouchie, ouchie, OUCH!

Also, I only mention it but, if a car, my loaner's, gonna be that damn expensive, could it not, please, also have just a smidgen of original style? Something a weensy bit unique like, say, the 1970 Citroën DS 21? I'm not asking for much here, ya know!

I had no idea!

I’m almost finished reading Bill Bryson’s One Summer: America, 1927. Thanks to Bill, I now know that, though Henry Ford had moments of brilliance, he was definitely mentally unbalanced in some pretty damned horrible ways.

He did not like bankers, doctors, liquor, tobacco, idleness of any sort, pasteurized milk, Wall Street, overweight people, war, books or reading, J. P. Morgan and Co., capital punishment, tall buildings, college graduates, Roman Catholics, or Jews. Especially he didn’t like Jews. (source)

His newspaper, The Dearborn Independent was a testament to his crazy hate.

Ford was even, actually one of Hitler’s heroes!!!! In fact, he’s mentioned in Mein Kampf. Hitler said this of Ford:

“You can tell Herr Ford that I am a great admirer of his. I shall do my best to put his theories into practice in Germany. ... I regard Henry Ford as my inspiration.” (source)

Ford was perhaps the first public figure to blow this heinous dog whistle: ”the real United States lies outside cities.”

To be clear, Ford had good points (as long as you were a white, Christian male). He was a pacifist, introduced a 40 hour work week (but was dead-set opposed to labor unions), offered profit sharing for employees of six months and, while he didn’t invent the automobile, he helped engineer a car that was affordable for most folks. Mind you, the Model T, amongst other probs, lacked both gas and oil gauges, there was no speedometer and the starter crank could kick back and break your arm. Details, details!

Hitler's hero at 25

While he, theoretically, paid more than other auto producers, there were some steep stipulations.

The $5-a-day rate was about half pay and half bonus. The bonus came with character requirements and was enforced by the Socialization Organization. This was a committee that would visit the employees' homes to ensure that they were doing things the "American way." They were supposed to avoid social ills such as gambling and drinking. They were to learn English, and many (primarily the recent immigrants) had to attend classes to become "Americanized." Women were not eligible for the bonus unless they were single and supporting the family. Also, men were not eligible if their wives worked outside the home. (source)

The Socialization Organization – Ford’s thought and action police. Another catch to Ford employment; as soon as you’d worked there long enough to build up the buckos, you HAD to use that money to buy a car – a Model T, of course.

By the by, while Ford would hire women it was only for office work. In fact women weren’t allowed on the factory floor at all – too much of a distraction for the worker boys, don’cha know. He also wouldn’t hire married ladies because they could get all spermatized and then, the HORROR, want pregnancy leave. The single women that he would hire had to sign a contract saying that they wouldn’t date or marry while they worked for Ford.

Yup, dude was a real fucking evil prince. He'd fit in just dandy with the current Foggy Bottom crop.

Powder Blue

Winnie the Pooh has problems sleeping too. His form of get-me-back-to-sweet-dreams-land is to count Heffalumps – attempt the feat anyway.

But he couldn't sleep. The more he tried to sleep, the more he couldn't. He tried Counting Sheep, which is sometimes a good way of getting to sleep, and, as that was no good, he tried counting Heffalumps. And that was worse. Because every Heffalump that he counted was making straight for a pot of Pooh's honey, and eating it all. For some minutes he lay there miserably, but when the five hundred and eighty-seventh Heffalump was licking its jaws, and saying to itself, "Very good honey this, I don't know when I've tasted better," Pooh could bear it no longer. He jumped out of bed, he ran out of the house, and he ran straight to the Six Pine Trees. (source)

I think I might see if I’ve got any luck/better luck than Pooh counting Heffalumps.

Last night’s wakey-wakey time was blessedly, more or less brief. When me and Morpheus got back to shakin’ the sheets, I dreamed that we all – Jen, Oni, The Amazing Bob, Erin, P.J. and me – still lived on Spring Street in Cambridge. It was moving day though. TAB and I’d already shifted most of our gear down to Valhalla but there were still a few bits left. I motored back to get them, pulling up in front of our soon to be ex crib in a ’66 powder blue Mustang convertible.

Yeah totally, motherfucking SWEET!

I don’t remember the rest of the dream’s details. I’m sure it was all terribly deep, fraught with 97 zillion kinds of complex, hidden meaning but, ya know POWDER BLUE ’66 MUSTANG CONVERTIBLE in cherry condition and it was MY motherfucking ride! This totally counts as the BESTEST dream I’ve had since TAB booked on outta this life.

I gotta say this again: POWDER BLUE ’66 MUSTANG CONVERTIBLE and it was all mine! If I take a nap, could I conjure that gorgeous chimera once more? Maybe take a ride down the Cape?

Yeah, I think this might keep me smiling all day.

Sparrows, I-Roads and Elves, OH MY!

not actual size but close.

My youthful Bix.

I came upon this funny little cutie, at right, at the Riverfest. A Sparrow. It's a one person, three-wheeler, electric car which looks like a roller skate. This is one of my Bix’s ancestors!

Autoweek has a mocking post up about them – The Corbin Sparrow was the clown car of tomorrow.  Mostly the author seems to be mocking the Sparrow's looks and size.

Built by Mike Corbin of motorcycle seat fame, the Sparrow was meant to be the three-wheeled city runabout of the future…
~~snip~~
Most of its 1,350-lb weight was due to crude lead-acid batteries -- this is primitive electric vehicle technology, the Windows ME of EVs. It takes 4-6 hours to charge at a 110-volt socket. The range, according to Woolery, is “shitty.
~~snip~~
 "Go on," he said, with a tinge of sarcasm behind his flippantly reassuring voice. "Take it up to 45, 50. It's freeway capable."

"I don't want to die in this," I protested.

"Yeah," he agreed, "That would be humiliating."

(source)

Alright funny men but the concept is fabulous. Meyers Motors, who bought out Corbin, is now working on a four wheel version.

Toyota’s got a new car – labeled a "personal mobility vehicle." I think that translates as "small." Like the Sparrow, the i-Road’s an electric three wheeler. Currently, best I can tell, it’s only available in Europe but back in ’15, it was being tested in San Francisco. Will this break into the US market anytime soon? Seems like this’d be perfect for the parking hells of Boston and New York.

This new concept in urban mobility “Toyota i-Road” combines the potential of both cars and motorbikes. Based on the future of urban transport, we have worked to ensure next generation performance in terms of driving, size and environmental performance. (source)

Pretty damn sleek and snazzy, no?

Better yet and perfect for me – the ELF. This is an enclosed recumbent-ish trike with "electric assist." This is just what I need for running errands around town or popping over to the bookstore for an emergency sci fi infusion.

What is “electric assist”? Can I switch between pedaling and motoring easily?

An ELF can be used just like any other bike or trike that only needs the strength in your legs to make it go. What makes the ELF more fun and useful, however, is the electric motor that gives you a boost of power whenever you need or want it. You can maximize your calorie burn by just using the pedals, stay cool and comfortable by letting the motor do all the work, or any combination of the two. It’s up to you! (source)

AND, when not pedal powered it’s SOLAR powered! How majorly awesome is that?! Answer: VERY. Also too, there's a 2-seater version which purportedly accommodates an adult or two kiddles in addition to the driver. This is totally on my big wish list.

The ELF is a solar and pedal hybrid vehicle powered by you and the sun. “The most efficient vehicle on the planet”, it is a revolution in transportation and gets the equivalent of 1800 MPG.

Watch this!

How long before we hit Jetson Time with cars that fold up.

Word to the Wise

After

Before

Don't get into a car accident.Yeah, I know—gee, Donna, RILLY!?

Bix was finally able to come home this past Saturday morning.  Christ, I missed him!

Almost 4 weeks after our sad fender bender and I'm still jumping through hoops to get the insurance payout.

At the three week mark, last Thursday, I received the first of the two payouts. The second one's for supplemental repairs—damage not seen on first, cursory, inspection—and will arrive later today. Hopefully.

I need to then send them off to my car loan's financiers. They, in turn, need to endorse the checks and mail them back to me. Only then can I deposit the dough in my woefully depleted savings account.

I'm lucky as ALL hell that I had the dosh in there (previously unneeded emergency funds—yea!) or else it woulda been another two weeks or so before I'd have had my beloved Bix back.

The insurance customer service rep was bad enough with her poor communication skills—her inability to explain what needed to happen in layman's terms versus industry jargon. This was compounded by her unfortunate habit of supplying incomplete and, occasionally, inaccurate info. Mind you, she was generally, at least in the beginning, very nice. Nice is good but competent would've been better.

Then there was the financial rep from the corp. that holds my car loan. Jen was lovely enough to call them to find out where I should send the check and asked if there was anything else that needed to be done beyond posting the check to the provided address.

The labyrinth of Versailles—simple stuff in comparison

Not only did they give Jen the WRONG address for sending my already late insurance check, their instructions on what to send, were ridiculously deficient. I got the check back, unendorsed, with a cryptic note. Jen called again, got a different rep who provided more complete and, hopefully, accurate info.

I'll send both checks off together. It feels like I'll be sending them off into a void, into deep uncharted waters. How do I know that this second customer service rep gave all the info needed for processing?

HOW do these communication challenged individuals get put into positions where clear, direct, comprehensive, accurate communication skills are imperative? They've obvs never gotten the Pro-Tips that:

• Someone with info to impart should never assume that, what is evident and all gee-duh-of-course to them is just so for the person to whom they're speaking.
• Industry jargoning should be avoided at all costs. Customers aren't dimwits, they're just not hip to all the insider lingo. Getting blank stares or emails with many question marks?  Paraphrase to make sure understanding's been achieved.
• Sequential thinking and it's offspring, sequential communicating, are mega key when explaining complicated concepts (and the rigmarole that I've been put through def counts as complicated). Thoughts, the info, that needs to be conveyed, should be organized and laid it out in one, two, three, consecutive steps.

It really would've helped if the insurance rep had outlined the process from the very beginning. Instead, I was sent through the insurance industry equivalent of a Victorian hedge maze...blindfolded. Funnily enough, accompanying the check I received late last week was an outline of the process I'd just been through. If she'd emailed this to me in the beginning, the path would've been smoother and far less frustrating.

But, hey, that would've made things WAY too simple. Where's the fun in that?

Bix Is Back

Almost.

Momentarily, Jen will be toting my big, round arse over to the smart car repair shop to pick up my poor beleaguered Bix. It’s been more than three weeks since I’ve seen him. The mechanics finished the work yesterday afternoon but motoring over to Somerville and then back home in Friday, end of summer, penultimate Cape weekending, rush hour traffic somehow didn’t appeal. Always impatient me figured I could wait until morning. Huh, very mature and forward thinking of me.

Instead of sitting in stop and more stopped gridlock hell, I went for a trike ride. Mein Gott it was glorious! I’ve a new, bigger flag on the back of my trusty steed which, I hope, makes me more visible to all the thousands of pounds of speeding steel coming up behind me. Nervous, me? You betcha!

Seeing as yellow, or greenish yellow, is the color which grabs people’s eye first, the most visible of hues, I’ve a bright yellow helmet, a mellow yellow trike and now a vibrant yellow patterned flag. I’ve also got neon yellow and orange safety vests which I should wear all the time but, in 80+º weather, I’ve been throwing caution to the wind and going without. I’m figuring that may not be so bright. I’ll mend my ways, I surely will. Probably not until temps drop into the 70s though.

I'm exploring ways to attach saddlebags to my brill stallion. I figure, this way, I can do at least half my daily errands via trike versus car. Better for the environment, better for me and my perpetual weight loss attempts.

Having said this, I am SO psyched to get Bix back! God only knows when the buckolas from the insurance company will come through so I continue to watch every penny.

Interestingly, ease in transportation seems to spark greater spending. I know, DUH, rilly Donna. No kidding?! Going to the book store (a 15 minute drive) versus the library (a 15 minute bus ride). Lunch out with The Amazing Bob as opposed to sammiches at home. If I'm in a gallery hopping mood, followed by art supply shopping—easy peasy. Afterward I can catch a matinee at the lux Braintree movie theater—no prob!

All this can be done without the car BUT it takes more planning and, with T travel, the better part of a day. MUCH easier to go out for a trike ride, dine at home, make do with the art supplies and reread old fav books. Without the car, I’m much more of a non-spendy homebody…sort of.

Mind, it's a brill home to be reluctant to leave.

This Thing’s a Boat!

It’s the goddamned Queen Mary—no, BIGGER. It’s the Nimitz…on steroids!

Yes, I’ve got a rental car for a couple of days. Luckily, with the bus stop just up the street—much as I hate it, we don’t need a vehicle all the damn time. Turns out my rat bastid insurance doesn’t have an allowance for rental in case of accident. That might explain why the plan's so RELATIVELY inexpensive.

I seem to recall, when I first got it, considering the rental car option. Between the buckos it would add to my coverage AND the fact that opting for it felt like a jinx—I’d be inviting an accident—I declined.

*DOH*
In any case, I rented a Chevy Cruze—supposedly a compact. Note to car gods, please look up the word compact in the dictionary. You’re confused. The Amazing Bob and I have appointments in town over the next two days and, after the last big T adventure, it seemed the smart thing to do.

Except, I find that I'm wickedly nervous, not about driving into town but about the parking garages. How can I possibly maneuver this HMS Thunder Child of a beast in those skinny, cramped, underground caverns?

Will I bump into someone or get bumped into again? Will I scratch the rental? (Yes, I shelled out for extra insurance just in case) Will I even find a space to accommodate such a monstrously huge beast?

I asked my fav car dealer guy, Todd Whitelaw, if he knew where I could rent a Smart. Nope. I turned to Google and found that, supposedly Budget does. Huh. I’d’ve asked Jen or TAB to call the local establishment to see if they had any Smarts on hand but the closet one’s down in Braintree and not easily T accessible. Still, a call’s in order just in case. Ya know, piloting a skiff’s a lot easier than driving a fucking tank.

And yes, yez, I know. The car’s really not all that huge BUT, compared to my beloved Bix, oh yes it is! I can do this. I can drive this Nimitz of a thing into town AND park too. Really.

“It is hard to be brave, when you're only a Very Small Animal.”
~A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

“Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.”
~John Wayne

Why I Hate the T

That’s the MBTA. Public transportation. I do need to clarify. It’s fine, fine, fine during off, non-rush hours. Bast help you if you’re trying to get home at 5 PM and you’re not in picture perfect shape.

With Bix most unexpectedly in the Car Hospital, I was unable to score a last minute lift home to Valhalla from MGH after Bob’s ‘shot’ yesterday

at least the view from the ward was pretty

About that so called shot—docs and nurses were VERY clear and definite that he was not getting more chemo—that he's done and cancer free (YEA!). Still, the two bags of meds, booster goodies, that needed to drain into his veins were administered in the chemo infusion department. Yes, that set our nerves on edge. This was most def NOT a quickie ‘shot.’

We didn’t get outta there until close to five and figured:

a) The T would be faster than a cab crawling through tunnel traffic on 93 South (it was).
b) The T would cost significantly less than the $75 price that the cab company quoted (we paid $4.20 for both us which included the bus transfer).

What we didn’t remember:

a) How astoundingly crammed the trains are at that time of day. Honestly, I was half expecting the infamous Japanese train packers to appear. For reals—it was a scene out of a Tokyo Metro station with folks half in/half out the doors, attempting to squeeze themselves in.
b) The obliviousness of all of our fellow passengers.

 We had no choice but to stand from Charles to Park Street stations. Park is the most central station. Red, Green, Blue and Orange lines all intersect there. This means loads of folks exited but, AT THE VERY SAME TIME hordes of sweating, tired riders were trying to board. A madhouse.

Ya know folks, if you don’t let people off, there won’t be room for you to get on. Do you understand the logic of that or shall I draw you a pic?

Does anyone listen to me? NOPE!

So there’s that bit of obliviousity plus—despite there being signs everywhere that people should give up seats for the elderly and infirm, do you think they do? Rarely, mon ami, rarely. I ended up ask/telling a young healthy looking woman to get up so The Amazing Bob could sit (pre-boardning I made him take off his ballcap so folks could see his white hair. Yes, I was workin' it). The twenty-something got up but her Millenial neighbor did not. Fine, fine. I could stand for the 45 minutes ride. If I got faint and wobbly, well boyhowdy, there wasn’t a chance in Hades I’d fall to the floor—there wasn’t an inch of space between all the bodies.

So then, if TAB and I are EVER stuck at MGH without a ride home again, we WILL take a cab. Most def we will!

I’m wondering—why can’t more trains run during rush? It’s clear there’s a need. This is mid August when half the city’s away on vaca. Imagine what it’s like in September.

No, no, I think I won’t, thanks.