OK, I’m exaggerating (I know. You’re shocked that I'd do such a thing). Still, it was a long, rough day.
I woke before five AM because there’s a large herd of cat who depend on me. Depend on me to spoil them senseless that is.
After patting, cosseting, tuna and treat-izing Coco, Rocco, Gaston and Gus, I got down to the very important matter of Words with Friends. Yep, morning’s not complete without twisting my head into knots in an attempt to make a fun word which will also score me the big points. (If I only had a ‘u’ I could spell arabesque! Well, I'll need another e, 2 ‘a’s and a place to plug in the damned word too but... Welcome to the world of word game addiction)
Then, all of a sudden it was time to head over to the Quincy Credit Union to obtain a cashiers check for the down payment on my awesome, brandy new, metallic blue, gorgeous Smart Car. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE!
The Amazing Bob accompanied me on today’s odyssey. Poor man.
All went smoothly at the credit union. Of course. Every last employee there is poor gold. The young teller handling my deposit, is learning sign language so we did as much of the interaction in ASL as we could. Too cool!
Next we motored into Somerville to smart center Boston where Todd Whitelaw, the tremendous and fabulous Brand Manager was prepping my paperwork and readying my brilliant new baby.
I need a name for this fab new car! I’m leaning toward Bix for Bix Beiderbecke. Why? I need reasons? What’s up with that?
In any case, we plowed through all the paperwork, he showed me all this nifty crap. Like the key that locks, unlocks and ignites a panic alarm. I think it makes coffee too. I’ve never had a car with a talented key like that. He showed me the flat tire patch kit which is totally John Scalzi Old Man’s War-esque -- I kind of expected Todd to show me Bix’s BrainPal next. Mind you, I’ve got a four year warranty. Mercedes Benz/Daimler AG who make the Smart Car, sends out a tech if you ever break down. Like AAA only German, eh?
At this point I needed to head into Mass General for my unfortunately delayed (due to losing my health insurance without any advance notice! read about that fun here) appointment with the lady bits specialist. Bix wasn’t cleared for take off yet (slight no-big-deal delay on getting the license plates) so Todd gave us a sweet red loaner.
Lemme just tell you, zipping around town, especially in the mega congested MGH area, in that tiny, roller skate of a car was BIG fun times 12. At least.
All was OK at the docs and then she said the magic scary word ‘biopsy.’ She said my bump/polyp/whatever-the-fuck is probably nothing at all but let's BIOPSY just in case. I asked ‘How long will this take? I’ve an awesome auto to go pick up.’ She allowed that I could schedule the big B for a later date but it’d take just five minutes. I might experience a little cramping is all. No time like now so let's do it, I sez.
A little cramping? Oh hells no! These were five full on, way painful minutes.
Here’s how The Amazing Bob and I deal with this shit -- we crack wise. There I am, feet in stirrups, the doc and her assistant doing what they gotta, TAB’s holding my hand (when he’s not signing the docs questions to me) and we’re doing our best Borscht Belt shtick on marriage, prostates and too much time spent in hospitals.
Yeah, we’re a real treat.
Afterward, TAB and I made our way back, through rush hour traffic, to the car dealership. Once there, all easy peazy-like, we hop into Bix and head for home. On the way, we stopped at the drugstore for Ibuprofen. We were all out and I sure as hell needed some after that Speculum of Agony action.
Back in the car -- sadly, surprisingly, frustratingly, WEIRDLY Bix refused to start! What to do, what to do?
One of the things I’d stressed to Todd was the need for an alternate way to contact Mercedes Benz if I needed roadside assistance. As a deafie, I sure couldn’t call but I could text or email. Todd found out what’s what -- there’s no set up for deaf customers with a dead car.
Here’s what Todd, (I love this guy!) did -- he gave me his cell number and said that, if I ever break down, I was to text him and he’d take care of me.
Who knew I’d have to take advantage of this just 45 minutes after driving off the showroom floor? Todd was there within 30 minutes (Brand Manager AND tech!) working on Bix. BEST customer service EVER!
Unfortunately, he couldn’t resuscitate but he did give us that same sweet red loaner that I’d driven earlier. Todd's having the mechanics work on Bix today and will email me later with status. Fingers and toes are crossed. Big time!
It was, most emphatically, a long, bloody hard day but we got through it and I didn't even cry, freak out OR stomp my feet while screaming 'off with your head!'
Yea me.
I woke before five AM because there’s a large herd of cat who depend on me. Depend on me to spoil them senseless that is.
After patting, cosseting, tuna and treat-izing Coco, Rocco, Gaston and Gus, I got down to the very important matter of Words with Friends. Yep, morning’s not complete without twisting my head into knots in an attempt to make a fun word which will also score me the big points. (If I only had a ‘u’ I could spell arabesque! Well, I'll need another e, 2 ‘a’s and a place to plug in the damned word too but... Welcome to the world of word game addiction)
The Amazing Bob accompanied me on today’s odyssey. Poor man.
All went smoothly at the credit union. Of course. Every last employee there is poor gold. The young teller handling my deposit, is learning sign language so we did as much of the interaction in ASL as we could. Too cool!
Next we motored into Somerville to smart center Boston where Todd Whitelaw, the tremendous and fabulous Brand Manager was prepping my paperwork and readying my brilliant new baby. I need a name for this fab new car! I’m leaning toward Bix for Bix Beiderbecke. Why? I need reasons? What’s up with that?
In any case, we plowed through all the paperwork, he showed me all this nifty crap. Like the key that locks, unlocks and ignites a panic alarm. I think it makes coffee too. I’ve never had a car with a talented key like that. He showed me the flat tire patch kit which is totally John Scalzi Old Man’s War-esque -- I kind of expected Todd to show me Bix’s BrainPal next. Mind you, I’ve got a four year warranty. Mercedes Benz/Daimler AG who make the Smart Car, sends out a tech if you ever break down. Like AAA only German, eh?
At this point I needed to head into Mass General for my unfortunately delayed (due to losing my health insurance without any advance notice! read about that fun here) appointment with the lady bits specialist. Bix wasn’t cleared for take off yet (slight no-big-deal delay on getting the license plates) so Todd gave us a sweet red loaner.Lemme just tell you, zipping around town, especially in the mega congested MGH area, in that tiny, roller skate of a car was BIG fun times 12. At least.
All was OK at the docs and then she said the magic scary word ‘biopsy.’ She said my bump/polyp/whatever-the-fuck is probably nothing at all but let's BIOPSY just in case. I asked ‘How long will this take? I’ve an awesome auto to go pick up.’ She allowed that I could schedule the big B for a later date but it’d take just five minutes. I might experience a little cramping is all. No time like now so let's do it, I sez.
A little cramping? Oh hells no! These were five full on, way painful minutes.
Here’s how The Amazing Bob and I deal with this shit -- we crack wise. There I am, feet in stirrups, the doc and her assistant doing what they gotta, TAB’s holding my hand (when he’s not signing the docs questions to me) and we’re doing our best Borscht Belt shtick on marriage, prostates and too much time spent in hospitals.
Yeah, we’re a real treat.
Afterward, TAB and I made our way back, through rush hour traffic, to the car dealership. Once there, all easy peazy-like, we hop into Bix and head for home. On the way, we stopped at the drugstore for Ibuprofen. We were all out and I sure as hell needed some after that Speculum of Agony action.
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| Mixmaster Jen's Medicinal Adult Bev |
One of the things I’d stressed to Todd was the need for an alternate way to contact Mercedes Benz if I needed roadside assistance. As a deafie, I sure couldn’t call but I could text or email. Todd found out what’s what -- there’s no set up for deaf customers with a dead car.
Here’s what Todd, (I love this guy!) did -- he gave me his cell number and said that, if I ever break down, I was to text him and he’d take care of me.
Who knew I’d have to take advantage of this just 45 minutes after driving off the showroom floor? Todd was there within 30 minutes (Brand Manager AND tech!) working on Bix. BEST customer service EVER!
Unfortunately, he couldn’t resuscitate but he did give us that same sweet red loaner that I’d driven earlier. Todd's having the mechanics work on Bix today and will email me later with status. Fingers and toes are crossed. Big time!
It was, most emphatically, a long, bloody hard day but we got through it and I didn't even cry, freak out OR stomp my feet while screaming 'off with your head!'
Yea me.
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