Down the Mall

Here on the Neck, very few people shovel their sidewalks. I understand—there’s precious little traffic. Everyone walks in the street. After a big snow, why would anyone bother to break their backs further than excavating their car(s)?

While the Neck is most def full of joggers, walkers and cyclists (on an early spring morning we are legion!), most folks like to take their fitness fetish indoors rather than endure the biting 15º winds, the lakes of slush and the ice which trickily lies in wait under the snow, eagerly anticipating its next victim.

Pansies!

OK no. I totally understand. I’d just rather be outdoors. If there wasn’t a vehicle on the road, I could trike. But there are. Despite the light traffic in these parts, with mountains of plowed snow everywhere, streets are about half as wide. There’s nowhere for me to pull over so’s to get out of the way. No bike lanes. Not safe.

Given my overdeveloped crap balance issues, it’s not a smart idea for me to walk on the icy streets either.

What to do? What to do? I need to exercise—it calms my mind, clears my sinuses and burns up those blessed Jamo and cake calories.

Sure, I could hop on Jen’s treadmill but BORING. I could join the Y but that’s just more stationary action with their treadmills and indoor bikes. I could do lap swims there but after this past summer’s unexpected swim I’m still a bit nervous about getting in the water (I’ll get over that but I need a bit more time).

Again—what to do, what to do?

Mall walking.

WHAT? Isn’t that for desperately ancient, shopping addicted suburbanites? That’s what I’d erroneously thought. At eight AM on Saturday (and Sunday), before the shops opened,  I was down at the South Shore Plaza, a mondo huge marketplace located one town south of Valhalla. I was surprised to see walkers who were younger than me. There was a couple doing Tai Chi. I saw a duo, who just had to have ten years on yurs truly, speeding along at Indianapolis Speedway rates. Oof. I picked up my flagging pace.

My fellow mall exercisers were just as varied as my outdoor mates. Once again, an uninformed, arrogant hypothesis of mine has been shot all to hell. Cool!

While the South Shore Plaza didn’t provide glorious vistas to gaze upon while sweating along, there were interesting bits. There was the banner advert for a cruise line, plugging their FREE gratuities for 2 offer.

Em....dear marketing copywriter person, please look up definition of gratuity and free. Also too, redundant. Thenkyew.

There was the gimcrack shop which, though not opened yet, had EVERY single light in the store blazing. ‘the hell? Why would they do this? What a colossal waste of energy! It’s not as though there’s anyone window shopping late at night and we early morning mall walking types are passing at speed not gawking around. Plus, this is unneeded, unproductive overhead—a big waste of cabbage.

There were other boutiques with most of there lights on despite it being before hours but more than half took the energy-smart, economy-wise road.

No magnificent, natural beauty but being warm, dry and SAFE is, for now, a decent trade off. Spring will be here soon and I can be back on my beloved trike, riding around my spectacularly beautiful Hough's Neck.

Today, however, is another big-ass snow storm day. There's no travel ban like last week BUT there's no way I'm driving down to the mall (or "down the mall" in the local parlance. You're welcome) or anywhere else with all those flakes coming down fast and furious. It's a treadmill day. *sigh*

Hi, my name is Donna and I'm a mall walker.