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Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Aw C'mon!

Or not
The daily hysterics from just slay me but you knew that.

LIONS and TIGERS and BEARS ALL possible TODAY (eeek!). "Are YOU prepared?" Swear to Bast there 's gotta be an ominous soundtrack playing anytime's main page lights up my screen.

Please, Boy-Who-Cried-Wolf much?
The Free Gratuities folk are at it again. Their ham handed redundancy is online, not just in print ads. You'd think someone would've whispered in the copywriter's ear by now.

Dear Adman, have you considered finding a better proofreader—one who'll help your company not look so...em...illiterate?
While waiting in a long, slooooow line at the grocery yesterday I spied, on the cover of Vanity Fair I believe it was, an article touting What Women Don’t Want to See in Bed. It was written by a guy. Do men read Vanity Fair? Is this like Louis and Clark returning from western explorations with tales of what the natives are really like/what they really want? Or is this just some poor writer schmo, assuming all women are alike, mansplaining our likes/dislikes to us?

Dunno. The cashier's line, while lengthy, wasn't long enough for me to gin up the interest, crack the cover and find out.
The National Enquirer had a pic of Obama in a wheelchair. He's supposedly got some devastating illness and it's JUST NOW coming out thanks to the brill investigative reporting of this supermarket tabloid. Yup, they're just ever so believable. Nice Photoshopping kids. Now go play in traffic. K?
Who reads AND believes this shit? The same folks who vote for the Tea Party candidates, that's who.

You know, like Michele Bachmann who, since leaving office, has become even more of a crazed street preacher, shrieking about the apocalypse. Her milk crate platform's bigger than the dudes' down on the Common but then, she had all that lovely Club for Growth cash-ola streaming in.

Bachmann’s seriously deranged yet people—actual live humans—voted for her and elected her to office.

Of course, with enough money, anyone can get elected. Just look at the GOP clown car line up for president.
Ted Cruz, who has been shown to tell the truth just 2% of the time.
Marco Rubio, the frighteningly stupid, maladroit dimwit who doesn't believe there's anything we humans—you know, US, the mega polluters—can do about global warming. Idiot!
Scott Walker—Koch Bros. fav, union disintegrating, possible actual criminal and all around enemy of the masses, washed and otherwise.

You'll be shocked, of course, to recognize that I'm not one of those folk who think the "right" and the left are precisely the same.