Butterflies and Killer Bees

It’s MRI Eve. Yup, tomorrow brings another two to three hours of nonstop tube time. Do I know how to have a good time OR WHAT!

Do one thing every day that scares you.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt

I do. I wake up and get out of bed. That's two things!

The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.
~ Joseph Campbell

There are cookies in the MRI tube? Yes, my idea of treasure is simple.

Life and death are just things you do when you’re bored
Say fear’s a man’s best friend
You add it up it brings you down
John Cale – Fear is a Man’s Best Friend

 John Cale – such an upbeat, cheery, effervescent dude.

Books are finite, sexual encounters are finite, but the desire to read and to fuck is infinite; it surpasses our own deaths, our fears, our hopes for peace.
~ Roberto Bolaño

Oh yeah, baby!
He lifted his hand to knock, but then he stopped. He could go neither forward nor back, so he simply stayed that way—hand frozen in the air.
~ Anne Ursu, The Real Boy

To be fixed in place, unable, due to fear, to act – I can’t think of a place more awful. A man I used to work for once said to me that he felt I was very brave. Why? All the surgeries, recoveries, changes in abilities and such. I gave him a huh look. What choice have I had? Ignoring Nf2 doesn’t make it go away. In fact, that only pisses it off. My cousin Carmel went that route. Yeah, she dead now.

If you’re not nervous then you’re not paying attention.
~ Miles Davis

Butterflies in your stomach. More like killer bees.
~ Kami Garcia

Sad versus angry killer bee

I am paying attention but have, possibly, wasps versus killer bees, in my stomach. The daily news threatens to push me well over into killer bee territory though. There’s some new hellfire every morning – Kavenaugh and the ongoing Republican War on Women, Prezinent Dumpster Fire’s long-running tax fraud. This bullshit WH is now denying visas to the partners of LGBTQ diplomats and radiation’s being equated with getting a little sunshine. That’s just THIS week too!

Then there’s the Crazed Shithouse Rat administration’s insane focus on accelerating the planet’s destruction. We don’t have much time left. Ten years mebbe – but, obvs, the badly dressed Grifter in Chief does NOT give a shit about the planet, humanity or even his goddamned children and grandchildren. Hey, he’ll be dead in 20 years – long’s he goes out with all the money and a young and beautiful piece of ass suckin' his ‘shroom, he’s fine, eh?

Steven King says there’s three types of terror – the gross-out (severed heads, etc.), the horror (spiders the size of bears) and all of a sudden, weird reality shifts.

I’ll throw in a fourth the decimation of humanity, NOT due to lack of knowledge but because of extreme criminally greedheaded intransigence.