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Sunday, November 27, 2022

Burnt Toast

Is there anything more sad than the final day of a four day weekend? Yes, of course there is but I'm living in the moment here. This is a crap moment but it's all I've got right now. Okay, there's more to this morning's melancholia than the fact that it's Sunday and Jen and Oni go back to work tomorrow. My endless doc visits ramp back up tomorrow, bills need to be paid, I've got to get back into a more challenging rehab workout routine and I've simply GOT to get on the stick and renew my damn passport...amongst other things.

After a couple weeks of progress, of hitting new walking heights, my rehabbing hit the skids. Yesterday I didn't even manage half a mile. This morning's ramble was a very slow, piddling quarter mile. Sure, it's cold and windy (the wind makes everything mega challenging)—I understand how this can crimp my speed and balance but, fer fuck's sake, I feel weak (also whiny which you may have already noticed).

I need to bring some fun into being. All work and no playtime makes Donna a dull slice of dry, burnt toast. Happiness gives me energy. 

I saw this (at left) and thought, HEY, I need a tattoo like this! I no longer wear earrings (or jewelry of any sort) and I'm MOST def not into makeup but I could use some embellishment. I wonder if I could get a dragon inked into my ear? As my sister Celeste has said, our ears are purely ornamental (she also has Nf2) so why not art it up a bit? Do tattoos hurt? I've never had one before and I am SO not into pain. 

Depression is melancholy minus its charms.
~ Susan Sontag, Illness as Metaphor

I laugh, and my lipstick leaves a red stain like a bloody crescent moon on the top of the beer can.
~ Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

It’s how I fill the time when nothing’s happening. Thinking too much, flirting with melancholy.
~ Tim Winton, Breath

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