Slangly

Language is always evolving, shifting, warping. I find, in my advanced years, that I’m totally in the dark as to contemporary slang. Fer fuck’s sake, I only recently learned the definition of DeathSantis’s favorite slam, ’woke.’

Woke
    adjective
having or marked by an active awareness of systemic injustices and prejudices, especially those involving the treatment of ethnic, racial, or sexual minorities

AKA, empathy—something which the elected douchbaggian jackasses of Florida and Texas are wholly missing. 

I stumbled on a few collections of jargon from the Victorian era. FUN! I believe these need to be reintroduced to everyday convo.

Afternoonified
     A society word meaning smart as in chic.

Sally never left the house unless she was all swanked out and afternoonified.

Abracadabrant
     marvelous or stunning 

Peter was always abracadabrant.

Bags o’ Mystery
     An 1850 term for sausages, “because no man but the maker knows what is in them. ... The ‘bag’ refers to the gut which contained the chopped meat.”

I used to love savory plate of bags o’ mystery but then I learned why they were called such. Also, Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle.

Barley-child
     a child born in wedlock but in the first six months of marriage

My older sister was a barley-child.

Butter Upon Bacon
     Extravagance. Too much extravagance

Kim Gargoyle’s makeup application is, simply, grotesque butter upon bacon.

Extranean
     an outsider

I have always, even/especially in my own family, been an extranean.

Flamfoo
     a gaudily dressed female

What’s the word for a gaudily dressed man? A dandy? This dude’s outfit would have totally rocked if not for that ridiculous cowboy hat. n.b., cowboy hats are always ridiculous even when worn ironically.

Gallywow
     a man destitute of power of begetting children

Gallywows are every woman’s preferred date.

Haggersnash
     a spiteful person

I’m not ashamed to admit this—I AM a haggersnash. Goo goo g’joob, goo goo goo g’joob.

Infradig
     below or beneath one’s dignity

Chad was utterly infradig—I wouldn’t fuck him even with someone I abhor'’s vayjayjay.

Kiddliwink
     a small shop

Imma run up to the kiddliwink for a Peppermint Patty and a pack ‘o’ smokes.

Leachcraft
     the art of medicine or surgery

My brain and spine cutters are aces at leachcraft!

Mastigophorer
     a fellow worthy of being whipped

The entire Republi/Facist party is no more than a pack of mastigophorers.

Mollynogging
     frequenting the company of immoral women.

What’s the word for frequenting the company of immoral men? Republi/Facistnogging? Dimwitted golddigging?

Ogerhunch
     any frightful or loathsome creature

At the risk of being tediously repetitive, Republi/Facist anyone?

Podsnappery
     This was used to describe a person with a “willful determination to ignore the objectionable or inconvenient, at the same time assuming airs of superior virtue and noble resignation.”

AKA Karens or Chads.

Quignogs
     ridiculous notions or conceits

Her head was full of conspiracy theories and other quignogs.

Repurple
     to make purple again

I’m thinking of repurpling my hair.

Smothering a Parrot
     Drinking a glass of absinthe neat; named for the green color of the booze.

I could smother a parrot right now!

Whooperups
     A term meaning “inferior, noisy singers.”

I know that loads of folks find karaoke great fun but, honestly, listening to a bunch of whooperups mangle my favorite tunes, never appealed to me.

Zythepsary
     a brew house

Greg and Jenny stopped unto the local zythepsary for a pint and a game of darts.

For more awesome, ancient slang check out the lists at these links.