Just a Few Words

Axiomatic
     adjective
self-evident or unquestionable.
     
No, no. I’m sorry but this is a noun. An axiomatic is an electric ax—kind of like a roomba only musical. AKA an electric guitar.

Hendrix was a god of the axiomatic.

In order to change the world, you have to get your head together first.
~ Jimi Hendrix

Oubliette
     noun
a secret dungeon with access only through a trapdoor in its ceiling.

Dunno. Oubliette sounds more like a character from The Point. Remember The Point? It was a beautifully animated film from 1971. Music was by Harry Nilsson, narration by Ringo Starr. It was about a boy, Oblio, who’s been exiled from his home because of his looks. Ya see, all the residents of the kingdom have pointed heads (Coneheads origin?) whereas Oblio’s is perfectly round. He’s banished to the Pointless Forest.

There’s a happy ending though. Oblio and his dog, Arrow, have an epiphany and return home—they’re welcomed, loved and embraced for exactly who they are. In fact, the village grows/evolves to be less pointy. The film had a big effect on 13 year old me. I was in my eighth new school in the ninth town my family had lived in and I was, as usual, having one hell of a time making friends. In that last hamlet, I felt I was just too damn alien and would never be liked or accepted for who I was. Oblio gave me hope.

By the by, did you know that Mike Lookinland, (Bobby of Brady Bunch fame), was the voice of Oblio? I sure didn’t.

Back to oubliettes, the secret dungeon kind—they sound nasty and claustrophobia inducing. I’d much rather hang with Oblio and Arrow in The Pointless Forest.

Vivianite
     noun
a mineral consisting of a phosphate of iron which occurs as a secondary mineral in ore deposits. It is colorless when fresh but becomes blue or green with oxidization.

It darkens to near black on continued exposure to light and is very soft so rarely used in jewelry making.

PLUS:

Vivianite is also known to form in crusted patches upon dead bodies, owing to the phosphate that is present in the hard bits of bones and teeth. If a cadaver ends up buried in waterlogged conditions, anaerobic digestion releases the phosphate from the decaying remains, and this slowly combines with the iron and water to form vivianite. (source)

But rilly now, this is what you get when Vivian Vance (you know, of I Love Lucy fame) dies and molders away. In death she became a beautiful gem.

Nonplussed
     adjective
completely puzzled or perplexed by something unexpected.

No, no, no. Nonplussed is when you want to go golfing but realize that your plus fours are in the wash. One is then nonplussed and must commit the sartorial faux pas of wearing khakis or chinos to the green.

Mumpsimus
     noun
 a word for someone who insists they are right despite clear evidence they’re not.

Nope. I’m quite sure this is the word used to describe someone who is beginning to show signs of having contracted the mumps. Okay wait, an example of a mumpsimus is a virulent antivaxxer, particularly apt when they contract the mumps.

Crambazzled, from Yorkshire, means ‘prematurely aged from excess drinking’.

This is a variant of cranbazzled which is what you become after you’ve had a dozen too many Cape Codders or Cosmos.

Tussie-Mussie
     noun
a small bunch of flowers or herbs.

That’s just ridiculous. Everyone knows a tussle is one’s rear end, the buttocks. Oh wait, that’s a tushie.

Nevermind.