Communication

You’ve seen the Inigo Montoya networking/communications meme before, right? It’s so simple, clear, easily remembered and totally spot-on. There should be ones for other important, uncomplicated info exchanges too.

Related—are kids in elementary school still taught how to diagram a sentence and is that truly an important thing to understand? I believe it is. Diagramming prompts students to slow down, examine the function of each word in a sentence and pay attention to detail. They can learn to identify the logical connections between different parts of the sentence.

 Unclear communication is often due to fuzzy thinking and fuzzy thinking has a million and five parents. Maybe the speaker’s inchoate notions, disconnected ideas and opinions are rooted in a simple head cold? Possibly the person is overwhelmed by current, nasty news and events in their life? Could be they’ve just never been taught how to think critically (and, therefore, lack the ability to communicate similarly).

Critical thinking has been described as an ability to question; to acknowledge and test previously held assumptions; to recognize ambiguity; to examine, interpret, evaluate, reason, and reflect; to make informed judgments and decisions; and to clarify, articulate, and justify positions. (source)

Based on a recent-ish exchange I had with a person (who I was told is studying for a doctorate in English literature at a reputable college), I’m guessing that critical thinking and sentence diagramming are, in fact, no longer featured in most schools.

Why?

The person I was emailing with (plus two of their siblings—all three being young adults) had suddenly lost their housing. The sitch was on the urgent side. I didn’t know all the details but wanted to step in and offer what little assistance I could. I did.

This, supposed, English lit doctoral student’s emails were a monster mess of sentence fragments, emojis, “lols” and “rofls” and tangential information. I figured this must be how young people communicate now (I’m old and outta date—practically beyond my sell-by date!) and made serious attempts to decode/translate to American English/Adult Level. NOT easy.

I asked Jen if her college aged niece and nephew write similar emails to her. That is, are they made up of pictograms, initialisms and maybe a few actual words? Are the messages frosted with an effluvia of EMOTION and more emoticons?

No, they are not. Siobhan and Aidan apparently write in full sentences which employ actual words. How quaint and refreshing! Do they write to Jen like this because, relatively speaking, she’s an adult? Jen says no—this is simply how they communicate.

I only mention it but, even if you’re “writing” solely with emojis, internet abbreviations and slang, your words/hieroglyphics still need to hang together such that you achieve the successful transfer of info from your head to your audience’s bean. Be aware of who your audience is and attempt to speak their language. If you don't? You're basically just standing on a spotlit stage talking to yourself. Also, you're bombing.

I found out later that this Ph.D hopeful (with, at best, exceedingly poor conversation skills) was homeschooled by high school drop outs and did their undergrad degree at one of those Christofascist Republican Indoctrination and Hate colleges. IF they are actually pursuing a doctorate, my bet is that the college needed the student’s buckos badly and just let them into the program. The student’s buying a degree versus earning one.

Communication Tips

• Open the door to two-way conversation. Encourage questions. Ask questions.
• Consider the sender/receiver’s communications strengths and weaknesses, and communicate in the manner that is best accepted by the sender/receiver.
• Paraphrase what you heard back to the speaker, to ensure you have a common understanding.
• Don’t be thrown off course by words that affect you emotionally. Continue to listen even when the urge is to start debate.
• Communicate to be understood. Many people communicate to impress – not express. Use short words that communicate clearly and concretely; present one idea, at the most two ideas, in one sentence.
• Avoid jargon.
• Use strong verbs.
• Avoid passive voice as much as possible. (source)