I had just one friend back then – Craig. Others were either just not that into me or were brushed back by that relentless pack of dimwitted, assholian pests.
Time passes (YEA!), I graduated, got through college, left that tiny twat-filled town, moved to Boston and began learning how to make friends and BE a worthwhile chum to others (that's an ongoing, evolving process).
30 years down the pike and ShoutyFace appears. Joining made sense – I was now deaf and it seemed like a good way to keep in touch with pals and MAYBE even market my artwork (yeah, that never happened – I blow bantha wang on the self-marketeering front).
Practically
the instant I posted my profile, “friend” requests poured in from
people who’d gone to the same high school as me. I’d put the names of
those rabid blights on humanity out of my head and, honestly, didn’t
recognize many names or faces in the connection-mad gang. Were any of
these women part of that plague of bullies, looking to revive some good
attack times? I didn't accept a lot of these requests.
I DID remember one of the Terrible Twats’ names – Prudy. Dunno what her damage was but she kept on sending me friend requests – again and again. Eventually, feeling a little sorry for her and figuring I’d give her a BIG, well deserved deathmatch-esque surprise if she gave me even the slightest diss, I accepted. Ho hum. Turns out she’s a woefully failed human – an inane, unstable and untalented “christian,” a Republi/Fascist and a serious serial marry-and-divorce type.
What is that wonderful Klingon phrase? Oh yeah, revenge is a dish best served cold. My fave part? I didn’t have to do a thing – she did all the life-pissing work herself!
Prudy’s since “unfriended” yurs truly, which just amuses the shit outta me. (gosh, was it something I posted? was she offended by my colorful patter or, possibly, my political ranting?)Why does all this come to mind now? I have two relatively new, online friends who also went to that appalling hellhole high school. (Gotta ask – where the fuck's Buffy when ya really need her?!) Way back then, we didn’t know each other at all. How we ended up connected now is a mystery. I’m so glad we are though. Mark is funny, sharply intelligent, engaging and warm. So is Alan. AND we seem to share some music/arts preferences. Awesome, n'est-ce pas?
If we’d been chums then (plus Jenny J.), maybe those four heinously ugly years wouldn’t, even now, take the gold in the WORST YEARS EVAH olympics.
But HEY, life’s a long and winding bloody road. Would I have had Kevin or The Amazing Bob so significantly in my life had my teen years been a joy a minute? Would I be so blissfully shacked up here in Quarantineville with Jen, Oni and Ten if my early path had been all rapturous HappyTown?
//shrugs//
Dunno. I’m just happy to be here and I hope I can help the ball club.
Why Can't We Be Friends? – War
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