I Have Questions

And, possibly, unpopular opinions.

• Do balding men still do combovers? If so, why? Maybe it’s just me but shaving your head, free and clean, or just going au natural semi bald would be more appealing.

• Are beige, polyester, wide waisted, no belt needed, golf-style pants still a thing? For fuck’s sake, those are ugly as hell. Toss those insults to the very concept of style out…NOW!

• For that matter, does anyone, besides democracy hating republicans, still golf? Hasn’t the Former Guy ruined it for all? As though a game—not sport—so spectacularly dull and county club class could be ‘ruined.' It's already well into the shitter, no?

• What about facial hair? Does anyone still sport the ‘70s porn star ‘stache look? C’mon, those are beyond skanky and look good on precisely NO ONE. Grow a goatee or a full out Dead beard. PUHleeze!
  

• Do any women still tease and spray their hair into granite-like sculptures. Question: Who do they think finds this attractive? Answer: Ancient, filthy rich men looking for an arm piece.

• Does anyone, besides mocking drag queens, sport the Tammy Faye “makeup” look any more? Question: If so, who’s their target audience? Answer: Eyesight troubled, obscenely wealthy, near death codgers. Alternatively, stadium or big box preachers. They’re not exactly known for having terribly refined taste.

• I assume boob blowups are still a thing given the Former Guys current wife’s ‘kidney’ surgery (gee, I thought kidneys were located so much lower in the torso. No, huh?) and his daughter’s unmentioned growth spurt.

• What about those ridiculous six inch stiletto heels? They surely impede mobility. Could that be the whole idea? Make sure that the babe can’t get away. Doesn't this suggest that all men, who find this look attractive, are Freddy Kruegers?

• Are those tacky, Godzilla-esque diamond engagement rings still popular? I gotta ask WHY? Why would anyone want to sport such a graceless, gauche monstrosity? Oh right, it’s about showing off the Benjamins NOT having or displaying refined taste. OK, never mind.

• What about those appalling mini-mansions—do people still buy them? I understand that, if you’ve got a big family and money, you need and want a lot of space. I get it—makes sense. What if you don’t have a zillion kids BUT you’ve got the money to spare and want roominess? Buy an historic home and restore it. I have a couple of pals who've done just that. Keep good, interesting architecture alive.
  

So, I’m just curious. Feel free to answer any of these, defend your choices or criticize my taste, in comments. Cheers!