Turn and face the strange

We live as we dream – alone....
~ Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness

My dreams are changing. Most nights, until recently,  The Amazing Bob had a starring role. Sometimes we’d be reliving the unrelenting trials and tribs, the stone bummerosity of his last few years, when we were in MGH more than not or so it seemed. In other dreams he and I would simply be together…living, breathing, loving together.

Lately though, he’s MIA and, from behind my closed lids, I'm missing the hell out of him.

Last night I dreamt I was alone, wandering the hills of New Hampshire. ‘the fuck was I doing up there? I was supposed to meet up with Jen and Oni in Portsmouth but I’d taken a wrong turn. Of course I did – getting lost’s my specialty.

After a long hike, I reached town but, instead of Portsmouth I was in Portland, Maine. Lovely town but not the right lovely town for the day's plans. OR was it?! I ended up in some cozy, cluttered haberdashery. The shopkeeper was GIVING AWAY KITTENS!  Natürlich, I left with three – two sweet grey ones (who looked a lot like my cousin Gary’s new bambinos) and a stunning black teen (who was a straight up twin of our man Umlaut). I woke from my feline fantasy before I could reach Worry Central – how will Coco react to her new housemates!? 

All in all, def not a bad dream. No TAB (which gives me a sad) BUT there were beautiful green hills AND KITTENS!

Why can’t I choose the storyline, the topic of my nocturnal movieolas? If I could, I would always dream of cats and strolls through gorgeous landscapes in spring.

Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality.
~ Lewis Carroll

I just laid the background color down on a new/recycled canvas. I have no idea what this one’ll be of/about. I’ve been depicting falling, tumbling down into a big pool of SPLAT – one of my fears. With the help of this past November’s little spine slice up and rehab, I’m not as much of a fall risk. Yea me! So, what’s my anxiety du jour? What do I want to explore and exploit in oils (and acrylic) now?

//shrugs// Dunno.

It was written I should be loyal to the nightmare of my choice.
~ Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness

But kittens aren’t nightmares. Sure they tear up the furniture but that’s the price of furry Valium. I wish I could take Coco with me everywhere. I feel so much more calm with her resting on my lap, sleeping on my hip, purring to beat the band.

I wonder – for my upcoming flight out to see Ten, will Alaska Airlines give me a kitten to hold for the first leg of the trip? Seems like that'd be in their best interests. Ya know? Also too, what the hell's this painting going to be about? Dammit.
Queen and Bowie – Under Pressure