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Monday, July 26, 2021

You know…

Guardian Beast
…you’re spending too much time in bed (whether you like it or not) when your precious cat starts doing laps of your head. Seriously.
She look nervous to
you? She does to me.

As it is, she spends much of her time on my chest and draped around neck. When not suffocating me, she's on her bed which is at the foot of mine.

Yes, Coco is, clearly, getting bored. Her job is to guard me, keep me from getting out of the sack without assistance. Not exactly a thrilling gig but it pays well In treats and pats. What, you think we give her greenbacks? PUH-leeze. She’d spend it all at the
corner dive hitting up the barkeep for another round of catnip FOR THE HOUSE! She’s very generous, too much so, when she’s stoned. Luckily, there are no valerian root dens in the neighborhood—she’d be nodding out there all the damn time.

Today should be more interesting for her. Between my surgery addiction (and subsequent rehabs) and Plague45, I haven’t been able to take her for her annual vet appointments in a couple years (yes, I feel guilty but, then, when don’t I?). Today’s the big day. Jen (her second favorite human) will be taking her in. Yes, I’m worried—she’s never gone to the doctor without me. Are they still doing the human-waits-in-car—staff-picks-up-beloved-therapy-pet (n.b.:ALL pets are therapy pets)-and-brings-her/him-back-afterward thing?

What if she, Coco, gets scared?

  • Will they give her a treat?
  • Will they pat her and skritch under her chin for being such a good patient?
  • Will she be anxiety hurling and peeing in the car on the way home (royally smelling up Jen’s boat (AKA car) on a 90º day when her AC is busted)?
Side note: why does the AC never break in the cooler months? Oh wait, I know! It’s not that it never breaks in April, it’s just that I don’t need to turn it on then. Hence, I don’t notice until I start it up at the end of June when temps enter the 80ºs. Nevermind.

I should prolly insist the vet let Jen come into the exam room to hold Coco’s paw, huh? You betcha!  Plus, Jen should make the vet show her vax certificate before going into that tiny, tiny room too—eh?

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.
~ Albert Schweitzer 


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